Hi. My name is Tony and this is Every Frame a Painting. And I know exactly what you're thinking: Why am I talking about this guy? — Oh my god, you're Michael Bay! — Oh my god, I am Michael Bay. Because I don't like his films and yet I think it's crucial to study them.
Why? — ...and Paul, I think you have started to watch WrestleMania on television... — Well, I... — Because you must not avert your eyes: this is what is coming at us. this is what what television, what a collective anonymous body of majority wants to see on television. Like WrestleMania, like Anna Nicole Smith, like Jackass, Michael Bay has created something. — Spectacle this website! It's what people want. The Romans new it, Louis Quatorze knew it, Wolfowitz knows it. — One, two, three... Boom! Bayhem!! We may find it crass and vulgar, but if we're going to make better movies, we have to understand the images that are coming at us. — Hey, hey!! So let's talk about Bayhem. Is it a unique use of film form? If you want to understand Michael Bay, one of the best ways is to watch his copycats. Consider this shot from 'Battleship', which tries to do that circular camera move he's famous for. Doesn't work here. Why? It's actually really simple. First, there's no background, except for blue sky. Without a background, we don't get parallax, so the shot doesn't feel like it's moving. See the difference? On top of that, the lens is wrong. Bay frequently shoots these shots with a telephoto lens, which compresses the space. This makes the background whizz by. Third, the actor's just staring and turning his head, but the key to the Bay version is that the actors move vertically. Like here. And here. And last, the low angle is there to give us the scale and slow motion is there to sell it. So what we have here in the Bay's shot is multiple types of movement, integrated: movement of the camera, movement of the background, movement of the actors, expansion of time. Then they stand still and look off-screen, creating stillness. Even though you're looking at a stationary point in the frame, this shot feels huge. — Shit just got real. Breakdown any Michael Bay's shot and that is basically what you will see: layers of depth, parallax, movement, character and environment to give this sense of epicness. None of these techniques is particularly unique. In fact, most cinematographers will naturally create depth in their images and parallax, whenever the camera moves. And the Hero Shot is everywhere. What makes Bay unique is how many layers and how complex the movement is. That doesn't make his shots better, it just makes them more complicated than the competition. That's why his frames seem to have a lot of stuff going on. Lots of dust, dirt, smoke or explosions between the layers. Also, lamp-posts. Lots of lamp-posts. If you go back to the first Bad Boys, you can watch this from the opening credits. Here, the car moves one way, the plane another, the lamp-posts are in frame for scale and the camera is on a telephoto lens. Later in the film, you can see the same compositional techinique. And when the explosions happen... Once you see this, it's much easier to deconstruct his imagery and to see its limits. For instance, Bay doesn't distinguish between when to do a shot and when not to do it. He'll use the same camera movement, whether the charachter's saying something important... — You have any money here in the States? .. or total gibberish... — What did I say?! Did you hear what I said? I heard what I said 'cause I was standing there when I said it. Every shot is designed for maximum visual impact, regardless of whether it fits. But the Bay style also leads to some fascinating visual ideas. How can you make something feel big?
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All the way around. Cause that is the guard. Josiah: Get ready Josiah: Dude, you better get ready to just... get your gun and shoot all the way across this.. Josiah: Take the shot, take the shot now. Now's your chance!
Guard: STOP IT! *BANG BANG* Josiah: Get ready, the pager is gonna be delayed slightly. Josiah: Now Uncle Ethan: *Yawn* Aw man, I'm tired.. Josiah: Listen to what the guy tells you. Josiah: Listen to it, word-for-word. Radio Man: Man if that pager goes off again, i'm gonna have to sound the alarm. For real. Josiah: What'd he say? What? Josiah: What'd the guy say? He said, somethin somethin somethin... i'm gonna have to sound the alarm Josiah: One more time, that means that there's no more guards. *HEAVEN MUSIC* *GASP* *GASP PT.2* Jesus Christ! Josiah: Yeah I know, it's a heart attack. Josiah: But now listen up. Here's what you gotta do, you ready? There's no more guards! Josiah: Yeah There's no more guards! I killed the bank manager, I killed that guard, there- there's no one left! Josiah: Yeah, but no no no All I have to do is I have to just drop a grenade in the lobby and i'm good! Josiah: No, hold up. First, quietly kill the people in the back. So don't go that way. Okay, alright. Josiah: Here, go down that stairwell. Josiah: Kill him. *BAYUM* Josiah: Now someone's up behind that wall I bet *HUMMING NOISES* *BAYUM* Josiah: T- Kill the tellers, now. You gotta run. No they didn't notice. Josiah: Go through that door and just kill 'em Josiah: Kill everyone, now (way too lazy to caption this whole part. sorry) HOW COULD I- *FRUSTRATION NOISES* I- Was there anything I could've done Josiah? Josiah: Not really *WHEEZE* Josiah: Not really anything at all! Josiah: Just get- Just git gud Just git gud *monotone* Where are the police officers.. Where are the police officers. Josiah: There they are.. Josiah: Wait are you surrendering? Josiah: Are you surrendering? Jesus Dragan! No! No! I'm sur- What have you done!?!?!?!?!?!?! Arrest me! Arrest me, it wasn't me! It wasn't me. You can arrest me! You can arrest me. I'll just, I'll get in the back. *BAYUM* Josiah: You killed them No I didn't Huh, we're done! We can just rob the bank now. Josiah: But- Dumbo? Bimbo? Boh Boh n' Oh Boh Huh. What? *some sort of laugh* *GASP* It's open! Doo do do Doooo (victory noises?) Well that's simple enough Gimme! Gimme! How much are we talking here? Hundred seventy seconds, okay I can work with that Hila- every time, she just has to know what i'm doing! Why her? Why- Wh- Watch, if I walk over here.. And I start sniffing the flowers. Give it 20, 30 seconds and she'll show up Look! LOOK AT WHAT I SAID. LOOK IT! What- what's so special about the painting Hila? Hila? Hila? What????? I guess she just really likes the paintings here. Clearly, sh- *FRIGHTENED* I'm sorry- I can put it back- I can put it back. I can- I can put it back I can put it back... I'm sorry Hila. *HAPPY NOISES* AND AH BA BAAAA *Beautiful Singing* Come on Hila, let's go! Get the HeCK back there Grab the money! That's it? Josiah: Yeah $517,000???? Gosh, we're talkin Lamborghini Aventadors, each and every single one of these Hila! Look at this! Look at this! I swear to god she doesn't care about anything! Nothin but her stupid paintings. (Every caption done by Fly2Freedom. I spent three hours on this. You're welcome.) (Every caption that doesn't have a name attatched to it is MeLikeBigBoom.) I think if we recognize the problems that went last time, we can be more... ...well equipped for this time around. So we need to rob the bank.
Josiah: Yes. They've got gold in the safe. I want the gold. Josiah: Yes !!!!11!!1!!! ...Jesus Christ. But last time what were the issues- So, I... I couldn't grab the pager, that was stupid, that was just Payday Josiah: Ehh, no you just suck. And then there was the- the teleportation, well we fixed that. We downloaded this locomotion mod that makes the- (loses focus because the mod is so good) This is so much better. I cannot believe it. Okay... and ummm That's it. That's both of our problems! So I think we can just.. I think we can just run in and just.. rob the bank. Okay, so first thing we have to figure out where the safe is. There's the safe And... There's a security guard (beep) Shut up!1! Where's the security office? Where's... Josiah: Over there. uhp.. Hi.. Umm That's the bank manager. Ummm There's the Security office, that's super easy, this door is shut. Okay Hi.. Umm Hello Umm And that means that this door over there must be open, so... We need to kill the manager and get the security.. card. Josiah: The card might be in his office, which is directly to your l- like right there pretty much -Card here..? Yes, it is! Josiah: Can- Do you have the skill to grab it? Try to grab it. Josiah: No you don't have that skill- No I do not.. okay. Josiah: But you know where it is! Um... he left (Message from the caption person, i have no clue what either of them said, have a nice day) Josiah: Okay... just, you can try to sneak your way to the card... right now. Should I put the m- okay So I'll put the mask on and then.. Josiah: Yeah Josiah: Put your- (Interrupted by H3H3 or Ethan): MaSk Oh yeah, I forgot I got a suppressed pistol which will make things a lot easier now Pew Pew Pew Pew *STRUGGLE NOISES* Police Guard: FREEZE *SHOOTING INTENSIFIES* *RELOADING* *EMERGENCY ECM JAMMER* *ALARM NOISES* Josiah: HahaHa- Dude the page- the pagers are on! Alright, we- we can- we can do better. We ca- *WHEEZE* Josiah: Security office is over here Dirty. Josiah: Just see, if the- oh wait, look, That's the- that's the guy right there Yeah the bank manager right there? Josiah: Yeah Josiah: Go see if the card is there. If it's not, it's on him. And if it's on him just murder him. Josiah: It's on him, MURDER HIM (Discovers something new) Oh, you click it. Do you hold it? Is that how you sprint? Josiah: Yeah Hold it, sprint- oh shoot Oh! Josiah: *GASP* Hello Josiah: (wtf does he say to begin this sentence) Josiah: Here's what you do, you break the camera right now and then kill the guy (MeLikeBigBoom's FaZe Clan montage) Josiah: You better hurry, there's a guard coming (OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) That was.. Josiah: Grab the keycard. Josiah: Ok now get ready there's a guard coming. Alright come around the corner (translation: come fight me noob) Josiah: Grab your melee Grab my melee? Josiah: Yeah! Shank him! Stab and shoot. Stab shoot. Ssssstab shoot. Stab shoot- Or shoot stab? Josiah: Stab shoot Okay, stab shoot Josiah: Now STAB SHOOT That worked amazing! Wow.. ok Uncle Ethan: I don't feel safe control. I think that we need to ditch our guns for swords... GREAT Swords... Wouldn't that be badass? Radio Person: Ohh I see... I see. Radio Person: Okay, that checks out. Okay that checks out That was probably pointless to bag him. Josiah: No it's actually good- no, nonono, but it behind it. Because if a guard actually does come.. Yeah.. I thought it would make a good ornament. But this guy, what should I do with this guy? Josiah: Ehh, leave him. Actually I have an idea. (?) (OH GOD WHY) Should I shoot the camera? Josiah: Nooo because then everyone in the lobby will know Josiah: You just- you literally- you have to walk up and use your key card on the door Josiah: As quick as possible Well i'm just gonna sprint in (BANG BANG SKEET SKEET) *HEAVY BREATHING* Josiah: *GASP* Now, now, go! Pop Pop Pop! Bang Bang Skeet Skeet! Uncle Ethan: Oh, I think my battery's running low. I'll have to replace it after my shift Radio Man: Oh, just a second, let me check that. Josiah: Are you not able to bag him up? Josiah: Yeah, you don't, ok so go all the way around right now Josiah: You have to find the last guard. Josiah: And then you're gonna put down an ECM and kill everyone. Josiah:But you have to find the last guard. He's on the other side, I bet. Josiah: Go. Run around right now Josiah: Not that way. Josiah: Outside, boi Well, why would he be outside? Josiah: No, you run to the other side of the bank. But- then i'm gonna be leaving this guy. Josiah: It's okay, but if you do this quickly Josiah: Oh shoot. Josiah: ECM NOW. Josiah: Go upstair- go around. |
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